Taking charge for her pleasure

I came across a cartoon I had saved several years ago that I think summarizes all the erotic pleasures of a female led relationship (for both the leader and the led).

(I am not sure who drew it or posted it, so if it is copyrighted please let me know.)

BlackMailed&BlueBalled-01 BlackMailed&BlueBalled-02 BlackMailed&BlueBalled-03 BlackMailed&BlueBalled-04 BlackMailed&BlueBalled-05 BlackMailed&BlueBalled-06 BlackMailed&BlueBalled-07 BlackMailed&BlueBalled-08

Orgasm Denial Poll: More women use it; More men are interested

As of February 2, 2014, in the ongoing Femdom Lifestyle poll on orgasm denial, it seems that almost 60% of the women who responded have employed orgasm denial for their men while a bit more than 40% are interested in it. On the other hand, more men are interested in experiencing male chastity (54%) than have actually had the experience.
Women: maybe it’s time to take action?!
There is a good chance that if you are interested but haven’t broached the subject, maybe your man is too.

Over 2,500 Views of the Femdom Lifestyle!

One Woman’s list of Femdom Principles

For a man like me, who craves to serve women and has been searching for guidance from a woman who enjoys the femdom lifestyle, it is pleasure to have arrived at this blog of an anonymous woman in a female-led marriage.

In her introduction, she so perfectly lists her Femdom principles, which seem so close to mine. She has inspired me to add pictures from my collection.

“My husband and I have been married for over 5 years. As we’ve gotten to know each other, our relationship has evolved and gone through several different phases. . Our relationship today is based on FemDom Principles:”

1. Submission to Female Authority


2. Obedience Training


3. Service to Mistress


4. Female Body Worship


5. Tease, Denial & Humiliation


6. Male Chastity & Orgasm Control


7. Corporal Discipline


8. Strap-On Training’


9. Feminization


10. CuckoldingCuckolding

More than 10,000 hits on Femdom Lifestyle

Femdom Lifestyle now has surpassed 10,000 hits in less than 3 months!

What a testament for all those women leaders, and the men and women who worship them! Thank you!

Favorites seem to be (in order):

CFNM- Clothed Females Nude Males

An Orgasm-Denial Manual for Women

From Boardroom to Bedroom

The Many Aspects of Sexual Female Domination

Sexual Humiliation:


Femdom male re-education

Femdom Corporal Punishment

CBT (Cock and Ball Torture)

Male Chastity

Male Chastity Devices:

Orgasm Denial

The woman of my dreams: Is this femdom or is it BDSM?
If you haven’t had the chance please participate in our reader poll.

The Many Aspects of Sexual Female Domination

Aspects of Femdom Femdom is all about putting the woman first; and the Femdom lifestyle now permeates every aspect of human relationships: from Social to Domestic to Sexual. Socially, women have gotten leadership positions over men in the workplace and government and domestically it is no secret that many marriages are female led. But it is the sexual aspect of femdom that in this society still seems most taboo.

How do you react to this photo? What do you think of the woman? What do you think of the men at her feet? Are you shocked (or maybe even disgusted) by the implications?
Although the picture implies a certain measure of BDSM, like the femdom lifestyle, it implies so much more. There is Goddess worship, humiliation, and devotion to woman… all aspects of the female dominant lifestyle.
Below is a list of some of the various aspects of sexual femdom and a brief description of each. Each item with a hyperlink will guide you to a more detailed photo/post on the subject (these will be added and updated as they become available). I am sure this is only a partial list of aspects of femdom- so please free to add or to comment on the ones below:
Goddess Worship:
This is the worship of a woman as a Goddess. It can be simply metaphorical or can truly be a religious experience (especially from the man’s point of view). The photo above comes close to representing this.
Orgasm Denial:
This is a form of ‘Discipline’ (the D in BDSM) where the woman denies her man permission to have an orgasm. This can be anywhere from a few minutes (during intense teasing and sexual stimulation), to days, weeks or months. This Discipline serves to establish the woman’s control over her man and often leads to extremely intense orgasms for her charge when she finally grants him permission.
Male Chastity:
This is an extreme form of orgasm denial that can be simply not allowing the man to have an orgasm (for a specific amount of time) to locking his penis in a cage sometimes called a ‘male chastity device’. Some devices simply prevent erections while other may have urethral ‘plugs’ or painful barbs.Male chastity can be used in many ways by the woman (this will be discussed later), but for the man it is a constant reminder that his manhood belongs to his woman.
In femdom, cuckolding is the subjugation of a woman’s sub-male to watching and/or knowing about her sexual encounters with other (usually well endowed) men- or women. For the sub-male this demonstrates to himself and to his woman his sexual inadequacy and is a form of sexual humiliation (see below). For the woman it is a form of both submission (to the well endowed man) and dominance… with a little mental sadism.
In femdom, pegging usually consists of the woman using a strap-on dildo in anal intercourse with her sub. For the woman, this is the ultimate in sexual control and power, and for the sub-male it is often the ultimate in sexual humiliation and submission.
Feminization / Cross-dressing:
This is the practice of having (often forcing) the man to dress and be made up like a woman. It is a form of sexual humiliation and sexual re-education (see below) that is most effective in men who have been misogynists or male chauvinists in their prior roles. It essentially forces the man to experience the sexual humiliation and degradation that he would have inflicted on the women in his life.
Sexual Humiliation:
This is a major aspect of femdom; and often one of the most erotic! It can span from feminization to pegging to cuckolding to corporal punishment and beyond…
It cuts deep into a man’s sexuality and masculinity, exposing him to a most intense intimacy with his woman. In many ways it is a process that eventually leads to the sexual re-education of the man. Even though many women might not realize it, men often find sexual humiliation an extremely erotic experience…
CBT (Cock and Ball Torture):
Although this is mainly a form of Sada-Masochism, it is often used in femdom. Often a woman might flick the man scrotum with her finger if she is unhappy with his erection… Sometimes she might use a small crop (sometimes called a penis whip) to ‘correct’ a man’s attitude, arousal or misbehavior.
Corporal Punishment:
Although often considered BDSM, this can be a very powerful tool in femdom to define the dominant female and the submissive male roles. There are many forms, including caning, paddling, whipping and spanking. In the picture above, each groveling male shows signs of having endured corporal punishment at the hand of their Goddess.
CFNM (Clothed Female Nude Male):
The use of nudity as a sign of subservience of the male and clothing as a sign of privilege in the woman is a very effective way to define the Femdom relationship. There is much symbolism in this practice, but the bottom line is that it defines the male as a sex object while the dressed woman is now the ogler- an instant role reversal….
Sex Role Reeducation:
This is a rather nebulous aspect of femdom that often depends on the woman, the man and their relationship. It is the concept that most men in current society have been raised in male dominated sexual roles while the woman has been encouraged to be submissive. Re-education (for both parties) can use any of the above aspects of femdom to establish and re-enforce the new roles of Woman over man. It can also employ all aspects of BDSM- but especially the Discipline portion. Since femdom is usually a continuing relationship (as Miss Coquette has so eloquently reminded me), I believe this may be one of its most important tools to keep the relationship clear and exciting.

Financial Domination: This is the practice that ranges from men giving ‘tributes’ to a woman to a long standing relationship where the man supports the woman in the ‘lifestyle fit for his Princess’.

Femdom male re-education


When it comes to understanding what women want and need, it is certain that most men have no clue. This is especially true in our current male-centric society where women are still regarded as submissive to men and are expected to serve their man’s needs. In addition, it is still considered a taboo in our society for a man to take a submissive role in a heterosexual relationship.

What is your reaction at the pictures above? Does it seem natural? Would it be different if the roles were reversed? Do the men seem any less masculine because they are ‘serving’ their woman’s needs or worshiping her?

It is safe to say that even for the man who might be interested in the femdom lifestyle, there is a lot to learn… or perhaps unlearn… before he can truly fit into the lifestyle. Not only must he learn the particular whims and pleasures of his woman/Mistress, he must also be broken of the well ingrained concepts that most men have had instilled in them.

He has to be trained to adopt as an instinct that he is there to serve his Mistress. He has to understand what it is to cede control (especially sexual control) to his woman, and at the same time find fulfillment in her sexual gratification- even when he is denied his own.

Femdom training can take many different directions, depending on the woman’s prerogative. It can be mostly domestic, making the man do the house chores or whatever else his woman commands; but ultimately it is a sexual re-education.

Some of the potential methods of femdom training may include (but are certainly not limited to) corporal punishment, sexual rewards, orgasm denial, pegging, sexual humiliation and even male chastity.

Many of these have been discussed in other posts, but two tools of femdom training are particularly useful in femdom reeducation: the establishment of a teacher (woman)/ schoolboy relationship and teaching the man to enjoy taking a sexually submissive role.

The establishment of a ‘re-education’ school (or clinic, or institute) is a good way to introduce role-playing into the relationship- and introduce the man to the his new Teacher. Even if the man is older and more sexually experienced than the woman, he is still ignorant of how to behave in his new role and this immediately puts his Mistress/teacher in command. The woman might want to lay down the rules for her new pupil and back it up with a list of rewards and punishments depending on his progress.

The punishment can vary depending on the woman’s preference. The more strict might include corporal punishment, while the more demure woman might choose orgasm denial. Rewards should mostly have a sexual aspect, but designed to make it clear that the woman is now in charge of his sexuality. Rewards might include being allowed to masturbate in front of his Mistress or be allowed to pleasure his Mistress (any way she chooses).

The rest of the re-education curriculum can be left up to the woman’s imagination.

Finally, another important component of a man’s sexual reeducation should include experiencing the pleasure of ceding sexual control to his woman. For some women this might simply be denying orgasm for long periods (or even locking his manhood in a male chastity device) and then allowing him an orgasm under her conditions. But probably the most effective way to have him experience loss of control is by being taken by the woman with a dildo- preferably with a strap-on dildo . (This is called pegging and is further discussed here).

Readers are encouraged to add their own suggestions and or comments.