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Femdom From Boardroom to Bedroom

Female supremacy or female domination (A.K.A.  Femdom) is a lifestyle that can be divided into three areas: Social, Domestic and Sexual.

‘Social Femdom’ is what has sometimes been called ‘Matriarchy’. Currently there are no true matriarchal societies, but current Western societies are slowly accepting more women in leadership positions. This has not been easy, and strong women (like Hillary Clinton) are often considered ‘butch’ or ‘bitchy’.

Social Femdom also applies to leadership positions for women in the work force. The concept that a woman can be a man’s boss has been considered ‘unnatural’ in the past, but slowly is growing in many firms and work places. Although sex and sexuality officially (and legally) has no place in our social institutions, it is naive to believe that sexual tensions (or outright sex) do not exist in politics or the boardroom. This might be true whether the boss is a man and the sub is a woman or the boss is a woman and the sub a man, but in our society it is safe to say that the latter is regarded as a more ‘unnatural’ relationship- and one that often causes the male to feel a level of humiliation among his peers.

‘Domestic Femdom’ is where the woman is dominant in the non-sexual aspect of a personal relationship, or marriage. In fact, I suspect that many marriages evolve to this type of relationship over time- and is becoming more acceptable. In the past, men were called hen-pecked or milquetoasts if they allowed the woman to take the lead in the household and domestic life. This again is likely driven by sexual tensions, but is changing- maybe to a more ‘natural’ state of female domination…

Finally, ‘Sexual Femdom’ is the concept that sexual gratification is the right of women over men. This is a reversal from the traditional concept that a woman was meant to satisfy her man- usually in the role of a submissive and willing receptacle… In my experience, most women- even if they are domestic and social dominants- feel uncomfortable in a sexually dominant role. In this respect, the bedroom is the final frontier of Femdom- and I hope that this blog will help women feel more comfortable exploring  and considering how to adopt this into their lives (they may also discover that most men are already more than willing); and that it will help men feel reassured that their often repressed submissive desires toward women is natural.

For me, the picture above demonstrates the sexual nature of all forms of femdom- as a female boss is most likely instructing her male underling to kiss her shoes- a clear demonstration of submission and humiliation. And although there is no fetish clothing, no cane or whip, no strap-on dildo, the message is clear and the sexual tension is extremely strong.

It is this sexual tension that permeates through every aspect of femdom and the female led relationship. If you are interested in some of the many sexual aspects of femdom, follow this link.

The Many Aspects of Sexual Female Domination

Aspects of Femdom Femdom is all about putting the woman first; and the Femdom lifestyle now permeates every aspect of human relationships: from Social to Domestic to Sexual. Socially, women have gotten leadership positions over men in the workplace and government and domestically it is no secret that many marriages are female led. But it is the sexual aspect of femdom that in this society still seems most taboo.

How do you react to this photo? What do you think of the woman? What do you think of the men at her feet? Are you shocked (or maybe even disgusted) by the implications?
Although the picture implies a certain measure of BDSM, like the femdom lifestyle, it implies so much more. There is Goddess worship, humiliation, and devotion to woman… all aspects of the female dominant lifestyle.
Below is a list of some of the various aspects of sexual femdom and a brief description of each. Each item with a hyperlink will guide you to a more detailed photo/post on the subject (these will be added and updated as they become available). I am sure this is only a partial list of aspects of femdom- so please free to add or to comment on the ones below:
Goddess Worship:
This is the worship of a woman as a Goddess. It can be simply metaphorical or can truly be a religious experience (especially from the man’s point of view). The photo above comes close to representing this.
Orgasm Denial:
This is a form of ‘Discipline’ (the D in BDSM) where the woman denies her man permission to have an orgasm. This can be anywhere from a few minutes (during intense teasing and sexual stimulation), to days, weeks or months. This Discipline serves to establish the woman’s control over her man and often leads to extremely intense orgasms for her charge when she finally grants him permission.
Male Chastity:
This is an extreme form of orgasm denial that can be simply not allowing the man to have an orgasm (for a specific amount of time) to locking his penis in a cage sometimes called a ‘male chastity device’. Some devices simply prevent erections while other may have urethral ‘plugs’ or painful barbs.Male chastity can be used in many ways by the woman (this will be discussed later), but for the man it is a constant reminder that his manhood belongs to his woman.
Cuckolding:
In femdom, cuckolding is the subjugation of a woman’s sub-male to watching and/or knowing about her sexual encounters with other (usually well endowed) men- or women. For the sub-male this demonstrates to himself and to his woman his sexual inadequacy and is a form of sexual humiliation (see below). For the woman it is a form of both submission (to the well endowed man) and dominance… with a little mental sadism.
Pegging:
In femdom, pegging usually consists of the woman using a strap-on dildo in anal intercourse with her sub. For the woman, this is the ultimate in sexual control and power, and for the sub-male it is often the ultimate in sexual humiliation and submission.
Feminization / Cross-dressing:
This is the practice of having (often forcing) the man to dress and be made up like a woman. It is a form of sexual humiliation and sexual re-education (see below) that is most effective in men who have been misogynists or male chauvinists in their prior roles. It essentially forces the man to experience the sexual humiliation and degradation that he would have inflicted on the women in his life.
Sexual Humiliation:
This is a major aspect of femdom; and often one of the most erotic! It can span from feminization to pegging to cuckolding to corporal punishment and beyond…
It cuts deep into a man’s sexuality and masculinity, exposing him to a most intense intimacy with his woman. In many ways it is a process that eventually leads to the sexual re-education of the man. Even though many women might not realize it, men often find sexual humiliation an extremely erotic experience…
CBT (Cock and Ball Torture):
Although this is mainly a form of Sada-Masochism, it is often used in femdom. Often a woman might flick the man scrotum with her finger if she is unhappy with his erection… Sometimes she might use a small crop (sometimes called a penis whip) to ‘correct’ a man’s attitude, arousal or misbehavior.
Corporal Punishment:
Although often considered BDSM, this can be a very powerful tool in femdom to define the dominant female and the submissive male roles. There are many forms, including caning, paddling, whipping and spanking. In the picture above, each groveling male shows signs of having endured corporal punishment at the hand of their Goddess.
CFNM (Clothed Female Nude Male):
The use of nudity as a sign of subservience of the male and clothing as a sign of privilege in the woman is a very effective way to define the Femdom relationship. There is much symbolism in this practice, but the bottom line is that it defines the male as a sex object while the dressed woman is now the ogler- an instant role reversal….
Sex Role Reeducation:
This is a rather nebulous aspect of femdom that often depends on the woman, the man and their relationship. It is the concept that most men in current society have been raised in male dominated sexual roles while the woman has been encouraged to be submissive. Re-education (for both parties) can use any of the above aspects of femdom to establish and re-enforce the new roles of Woman over man. It can also employ all aspects of BDSM- but especially the Discipline portion. Since femdom is usually a continuing relationship (as Miss Coquette has so eloquently reminded me), I believe this may be one of its most important tools to keep the relationship clear and exciting.

Financial Domination: This is the practice that ranges from men giving ‘tributes’ to a woman to a long standing relationship where the man supports the woman in the ‘lifestyle fit for his Princess’.

Pegging

 

Few aspects of femdom are potentially as powerful and role defining as the practice of pegging: taking the man up the anus with a strap-on dildo. Physically, pegging can be done in many positions but are usually performed ‘doggy style’ or in the missionary position.

At its very basic, pegging is simply sexual role reversal, with the woman becoming the sexual dominant and invading the anus of the now sexually submissive male. But, at least for the man, there is much more to it…

For a heterosexual male like myself, the idea of being taken up the ass by a woman is the epitome of humiliation. It is not just the discomfort (which is similar to passing a large hard turd), but it is also the complete loss of control; something that many heterosexual men are not used to. It is counter to all the ideals of masculinity that both men and women have been raised to accept.
The humiliation is often compounded by the fact that the dildo frequently stimulates the man’s prostate (that has sometimes been called the ‘male g-spot’), which not only may stimulate an intense feeling of ‘pleasurable discomfort’, but under the right circumstances, force an ejaculation and orgasm- that even can be involuntary. This involuntary phenomenon can be made even more certain if the woman uses a vibrating dildo to stimulate the prostate (and herself).

Yet, despite the discomfort and the humiliation- the experience is extremely arousing for the man- and if the man is brought to orgasm- it is one of the most intense. Why such an experience would be so arousing is difficult to say (and I am sure that not every man would feel aroused by this), but a large part of it is the man’s total loss of control and the ceremonial consummation of his total submission to the woman.

In addition to the physical stimulation that the woman may get from the dildo, I have been told that there is also a powerful feeling of sexual control over the man.

A female reader, ‘M’ (milkyandthegentlemen.tumblr.com),  who has become a fan of pegging writes in response:

It’s too bad that some people feel this act of love is humiliating.  And that they describe it so inelegantly as “similar to passing a large hard turd.”  What utter bollocks that is.  At least, it’s not true if I’m doing it.  Or if Ruby Ryder and other women I know are caring lovers are doing it.  It’s marvelous.  Mind blowing.  Intense.

To call this act “invading the anus” implies that any penetrative sex is an invasion, which is bullshit.  It’s slipping under your partner’s skin, going deep within him or her, stirring your lover to new heights.  It’s a union.  Are French kisses “invading the mouth”?  Sheesh.

The person who’s going to be pegged needs to prepare for it.  And to be prepared.  Clean out with an enema.  He or she can wear a butt plug to stretch the anus.  And one must use lube.  Lots and lots of lube.  I really like to rim my lover first, to lick and suck and make him feel wonderful and relaxed.  Then I can lube my fingers and have at him.  One, two, three.  Massage the prostate, get him ready for the main event.  Begin with a small shecock and then change it out for a larger size.  Slip in gently, then begin to thrust once it’s clear he’s enjoying it.  If it’s done right, it shouldn’t be painful.  It should be pure pleasure.

Just because the woman has strapped on doesn’t mean she forgets about the rest of sexual pleasure.  I touch and stroke my men.  And in one very special case, I kissed him thoroughly as I buggered his ass.

I suppose I understand this part: “but it is also the complete loss of control; something that many heterosexual men are not used to. It is counter to all the ideals of masculinity that we have been raised to accept.”  When I first contemplated pegging, it alarmed me a bit because it was the complete assumption of control, something many straight women of my era aren’t used to.  It felt very unfeminine.  But I got over it as I saw beautiful women in lovely corsets and other outfits smiling gently, having at their fellas.

Sure, this can be done meanly, degrading a guy.  But that’s not an inherent part of pegging.  I object to it being portrayed as something humiliating.  It is a great act of love, giving a man the chance to see how nice it is to be filled, how fun it is to get fucked.

From Boardroom to Bedroom

Female supremacy or female domination (A.K.A.) ‘Femdom’ is a lifestyle that can be divided into three areas: Social, Domestic and Sexual.

‘Social Femdom’ is what has been called ‘Matriarchy’. Currently there are no true matriarchal societies, but current Western societies are slowly accepting more women in leadership positions. This has not been easy, and strong women (like Hillary Clinton) are often considered ‘butch’ or ‘bitchy’.

Social Femdom also applies to women in the work force. The concept that a woman can be a man’s boss has been considered ‘unnatural’ in the past, but slowly is growing in many firms and work places. Although sex and sexuality officially (and legally) has no place in our social institutions, it is naive to believe that sexual tensions (or outright sex) do not exist in politics or the boardroom. This might be true whether the boss is a man and the sub is a woman or the boss is a woman and the sub a man, but in our society it is safe to say that the latter is regarded as a more ‘unnatural’ relationship- and one that often causes the male to feel a level of humiliation among his peers.

‘Domestic Femdom’ is where the woman is dominant in the non-sexual aspect of a personal relationship, or marriage. In fact, I suspect that many marriages evolve to this type of relationship over time- and is becoming more acceptable. In the past, men were called hen-pecked or milquetoasts if they allowed the woman to take the lead in the household and domestic life. This again is likely driven by sexual tensions, but is changing- maybe to a more ‘natural’ state of female domination…

Finally, ‘Sexual Femdom’ is the concept that sexual gratification is the right of women over men. This is a reversal from the traditional concept that a woman was meant to satisfy her man- usually in the role of a submissive and willing receptacle… In my experience, most women- even if they are domestic and social dominants- feel uncomfortable in a sexually dominant role. In this respect, the bedroom is the final frontier of Femdom- and I hope that this blog will help women feel more comfortable exploring  and considering how to adopt this into their lives (they may also discover that most men are already more than willing); and that it will help men feel reassured that their often repressed submissive desires toward women is natural.

For me, the picture above demonstrates the sexual nature of all forms of femdom- as a female boss is most likely instructing her male underling to kiss her shoes- a clear demonstration of submission and humiliation. And although there is no fetish clothing, no cane or whip, no strap-on dildo, the message is clear and the sexual tension is extremely strong.

It is this sexual tension that permeates through every aspect of femdom and the female led relationship. If you are interested in some of the many sexual aspects of femdom, follow this link.

The woman of my dreams: Is this femdom or is it BDSM?

For most of my life I would have said that there is no difference- that femdom is a form of BDSM. I now know differently: it is a lifestyle completely separate from BDSM.

Sure, femdom has elements of sadism, masochism, bondage and certainly a healthy dose of discipline, but the concept of a female led relationship should never be confused with them. In the past, female dominants and male submissives were considered somehow ‘unnatural’ and the lifestyle was considered a fetish. This is still true in many respects today: if one Googles for ‘femdom’ images, one finds women dressed in leather or latex, carrying a whip or a cane and wearing a strap-on dildo. The picture above is clearly BDSM with the woman dressed in fetish clothing with a sadistic expression that tells us that the man on the receiving end should clearly ready himself for a ravishing…

Although this woman is clearly conveying a strong female figure, ready to tame her man, this only conveys a very small aspect of what a female led relationship might actually entail.

I hope this blog will reveal all the various aspects of this lifestyle from the point of view of the women and the men (like yours truly) who enjoy it (whether in practice or just as a fantasy). Please feel free to provide your own experiences, preferences, comments and, of course, photos and videos on the subject.

Femdom Goddess Worship

It is so natural for a man to worship a woman, even in traditional or male dominant lifestyles. In Femdom, this is an even more intense experience.

It may involve foot kissing, which reinforces the man’s subservient status, or it might involve masturbating while kneeling at her feet. This ceremonial sexual ritual can be extremely effective in affirming the Domme/sub relationship. In some men, who worship their woman as a Goddess, this offering of his tribute- his manhood- is a form of Femdom worship.

The picture above exemplifies the woman as deity, as Goddess, and I know I would love to offer her my manhood in tribute.

Male Chastity Devices:

 

There are many types of male chastity devices (MCDs) available to the female who wants to control her man. They have many uses including orgasm control, punishment and humiliation. Here are pictures of 4 general types of MCDs.

The top row demonstrates a male chastity belt that completely covers the man’s penis. It is interesting to note that even though the front completely covers the penis, the back of the belt has a convenient hole, probably for dildo or butt plug placement.

The second row shows two versions of a penis ‘cage’. These devices generally have three functions- to prevent the man from getting an erection, prevent him from using his penis in sex and, in some cases, also prevent his penis from being touched (to prevent masturbation or other forms of release). Most types have a lock- and the woman gets to keep the key after it is locked.

The third row shows two versions of a urethral ‘plug’. These are designed to be pushed down the penile urethra (the hole) and act both to prevent erections and prevent (or control) ejaculation. It is quite uncomfortable (even painful) for the man.

The bottom row shows hybrid versions of the cage and plug. There are many versions of these including ones with ‘hollow plugs’ with a core that can be removed (for urination etc.).

Many other devices exist and I am sure many women can add their favorite device.

The Many Aspects of Sexual Female Domination

Aspects of Femdom Femdom is all about putting the woman first and the Femdom lifestyle ranges from Social to Domestic to Sexual. Socially, women have gotten leadership positions over men in the workplace and government and many marriages are female led, but it is the sexual aspect of femdom that in this society seems most taboo. How do you react to this photo? What do you think of the woman? What do you think of the men at her feet? Are you shocked (or maybe even disgusted) by the implications?
Although the picture implies a certain measure of BDSM, like the femdom lifestyle, it implies so much more. There is Goddess worship, humiliation, and devotion to woman… all aspects of the female dominant lifestyle.
Below is a list of some of the various aspects of sexual femdom and a brief description of each. Each item with a hyperlink will guide you to a more detailed photo/post on the subject (these will be added as they become available). I am sure this is only a partial list of aspects of femdom- so please free to add or to comment on the ones below:
Goddess Worship:
This is the worship of a woman as a Goddess. It can be simply metaphorical or can truly be a religious experience (especially from the man’s point of view). The photo above comes close to representing this.
Orgasm Denial:
This is a form of ‘Discipline’ (the D in BDSM) where the woman denies her man permission to have an orgasm. This can be anywhere from a few minutes (during intense teasing and sexual stimulation), to days, weeks or months. This Discipline serves to establish the woman’s control over her man and often leads to extremely intense orgasms for her charge when she finally grants him permission.
Male Chastity:
This is an extreme form of orgasm denial that can be simply not allowing the man to have an orgasm (for a specific amount of time) to locking his penis in a cage sometimes called a ‘male chastity device’. Some devices simply prevent erections while other may have urethral ‘plugs’ or painful barbs.Male chastity can be used in many ways by the woman (this will be discussed later), but for the man it is a constant reminder that his manhood belongs to his woman.
Cuckolding:
In femdom, cuckolding is the subjugation of a woman’s sub-male to watching and/or knowing about her sexual encounters with other (usually well endowed) men- or women. For the sub-male this demonstrates to himself and to his woman his sexual inadequacy and is a form of sexual humiliation (see below). For the woman it is a form of both submission (to the well endowed man) and dominance… with a little mental sadism.
Pegging:
In femdom, pegging usually consists of the woman using a strap-on dildo in anal intercourse with her sub. For the woman, this is the ultimate in sexual control and power, and for the sub-male it is often the ultimate in sexual humiliation and submission.
Feminization / Cross-dressing:
This is the practice of having (often forcing) the man to dress and be made up like a woman. It is a form of sexual humiliation and sexual re-education (see below) that is most effective in men who have been misogynists or male chauvinists in their prior roles. It essentially forces the man to experience the sexual humiliation and degradation that he would have inflicted on the women in his life.
Sexual Humiliation:
This is a major aspect of femdom; and often one of the most erotic! It can span from feminization to pegging to cuckolding to corporal punishment and beyond…
It cuts deep into a man’s sexuality and masculinity, exposing him to a most intense intimacy with his woman. In many ways it is a process that eventually leads to the sexual re-education of the man. Even though many women might not realize it, men often find sexual humiliation an extremely erotic experience…
CBT (Cock and Ball Torture):
Although this is mainly a form of Sada-Masochism, it is often used in femdom. Often a woman might flick the man scrotum with her finger if she is unhappy with his erection… Sometimes she might use a small crop (sometimes called a penis whip) to ‘correct’ a man’s attitude, arousal or misbehavior.
Corporal Punishment:
Although often considered BDSM, this can be a very powerful tool in femdom to define the dominant female and the submissive male roles. There are many forms, including caning, paddling, whipping and spanking. In the picture above, each groveling male shows signs of having endured corporal punishment at the hand of their Goddess.
CFNM (Clothed Female Nude Male):
The use of nudity as a sign of subservience of the male and clothing as a sign of privilege in the woman is a very effective way to define the Femdom relationship. There is much symbolism in this practice, but the bottom line is that it defines the male as a sex object while the dressed woman is now the ogler- an instant role reversal….
Sex Role Reeducation:
This is a rather nebulous aspect of femdom that often depends on the woman, the man and their relationship. It is the concept that most men in current society have been raised in male dominated sexual roles while the woman has been encouraged to be submissive. Re-education (for both parties) can use any of the above aspects of femdom to establish and re-enforce the new roles of Woman over man. It can also employ all aspects of BDSM- but especially the Discipline portion. Since femdom is usually a continuing relationship (as Miss Coquette has so eloquently reminded me), I believe this may be one of its most important tools to keep the relationship clear and exciting.

Financial Domination:This is the practice of men giving ‘tributes’ to a woman